April 17th

Old Soul Song (For The New World Order) by Bright Eyes
April 16th
April 16th
April 16th
strange urges

i walked by an eternally flaming fountain 

and had the most curious urge to jump in

beneath its freezing cold waters;

and as my phone buzzed for the up umpteenth time

i wanted to toss it in first and let it vibrate the 

water in rippling waves until it received its last text:

what a watery grave for us both.

April 15th
April 15th
April 15th
April 15th

Slow Show by The National
April 15th
April 15th
a few days

bubbly cupcake wine
swirling around in a pearl white china teacup
[little flecks of cork float casually
on top like careless, unwelcomed guests]:
laughter and sisterly love
is a balm to my stretched-thin soul.
sick, retching-helplessness
[if i wasn’t so naked in this red towel,
maybe i wouldn’t feel so humiliated].
shivering beneath wadded blankets:
all i want is to not want again.
rain drops the size of propositions
drip down the ridge of my nose,
[ah, it really is a bummer about the Jewish boy]
your drunken, blatant advances
leave me relieved [for once]
to be alone in my bed for the night.
i’ve tried ridding my body of my leeches
[they’re sucking me dry],
but they’ve left a sickly pungent
stench etched within the lines of my stomach:
why do i feel so disgusting right now?
i don’t like being used.